the paintistry

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Wed, 05 Aug 2009 18:56:12 -0400

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Mon, 27 Jul 2009 14:13:32 -0400

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Mon, 27 Jul 2009 12:06:17 -0400

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How would you redesign the milk carton?

Fri, 24 Jul 2009 10:48:22 -0400

http://www.vanityfair.com/online/style/2009/07/redesigning-a-milk-carton.html

GO.

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Fri, 10 Jul 2009 08:47:10 -0400

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Tue, 07 Jul 2009 08:36:10 -0400

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when it rains

Tue, 30 Jun 2009 17:21:29 -0400

apparently i never blog. wow —-it must’ve been raining so long it flooded and the computer got swept away….

ok so that didn’t happen. i’m just a slacker… (somehow i always find myself saying that…)

so here’s what’s been happening since november 08.

i stayed at my job. i like it now. ish. i mean it’s not the one i dream about at night. but it pays. and i like the people.

i’ve started painting again. a year and a month later…..they say after 6 months you never go back. i’m not out of the woods yet.

i’ve started making things. i think my sewing machine’s little constant whine is it’s way of telling me i’m running it too hard….

i dream of making my own clothes. i dream of cooking delicious things. of having an immaculately clean and impeccable decorated house. i dream of sleeping in for as long as i want for a week straight. i dream of working out for 90 days straight - so i get through this blasted workout thing and feel like i did when i was a gymnast. i dream of living carefree. or just having enough time to breathe. to paint. to create.

just tapping around on a computer all day isn’t doing it for me.

truly create. doing things the long way - by hand.

i miss that. i miss a lot.

i’ve got 2 minutes till i can leave work. on time. that’s noteworthy. seeing how i haven’t left work on time since i can remember….

house hunting today.

more dreams.

i’ll tell you how it goes…..

i hate it when this happens.

Tue, 18 Nov 2008 09:26:14 -0500

i hate it when this happens.

Photo

Tue, 18 Nov 2008 09:24:53 -0500

brilliant

Tue, 18 Nov 2008 09:24:04 -0500

brilliant

separation of suffering

Tue, 11 Nov 2008 10:51:43 -0500

just found out today that a friend is going through some trouble.

kicked my butt actually.

while talking to her i began to realize how much i actually take for granted that all the times i don’t deserve to be loved, i am shown a love deeper than i can understand.

it makes my current situation seems much smaller.

why is it those little things we take for granted that carry so much weight.

love. respect. consideration. compassion. patience.

they always come in tiny increments of thought and only seconds to execute. yet they trip us, or we choose to ignore them. and over time, they will overthrow all you thought you had.

how can i never take those things for granted again? can i mend these ties i’ve been sawing at with a butter knife?

how soon will attitudes change? how well will it stick? i’m afraid i’ll forget?

where did my compassionate heart go?

i now realize my suffering is my own creation which must be separated.

dear jesus, help me to appreciate the little things in life a little more.

relient k

Mon, 10 Nov 2008 17:17:00 -0500

proves to be softening me as the day crawls to an end.

“cause i struggle with forward motion, cause forward motion is harder than it sounds. well, every time i get some ground i gotta turn myself around again.” -relientk

i'm

Mon, 10 Nov 2008 15:26:28 -0500

a lonely little petunia in an onion patch

i just want peace

Mon, 10 Nov 2008 14:44:31 -0500

from all the madness around me.

i want to hear God.

I want to be happy.

that's it.

Mon, 10 Nov 2008 14:25:38 -0500

i give up.

no one will understand.

from this point forward, if you act like there’s something wrong with me…i’m walking away.

bitterness.

Mon, 10 Nov 2008 13:37:50 -0500

jealousy. inpatientcy.

i’ve gotta get over this and wait,

but it’s killing me.

11:11

Mon, 10 Nov 2008 11:53:00 -0500

so i talked to my parents about this whole quit my job thing. and in short: bad idea.

hard to believe that people who love me and want me to do what’s right tell me things that are untrue as well as somewhat unrelated to what i’m going through.

i’m sorry if i have a passion to be happy. i’m sorry you didn’t. i will not live like that. i will find happiness.

i did not call you to hear that i’m doing the wrong thing. if i knew i was doing the right thing then i wouldn’t have called you. thank you for telling me what’s already obvious.

oh so helpful.

i mean for crying out loud lets everyone scream and say the same thing at once.

i know quitting my job may not be the right thing to do right now.

i’ve thought about that. novel idea, right? thinking.

so i’ve made up my mind. this isn’t for me yet. this isn’t something i can do yet. God may want me to go out on a limb, but I have no peace. I can be scared and have peace. I have no peace about this.

and so i will deal.

i’m just still a little pissed people are like…are you ok? right after they tell me i’m a moron. thanks people. nice to know you care.

i learned something in this. no one cares if you really have a problem, they just want to tell you you’re a moron and then try to make you feel better.

yes, i’m a little bitter. no, i shouldn’t be bitter. yes, i know. no, you can’t call me a moron again.

i have also learned to keep my problems to myself.

congratulations. you have successfully shut me out once again.

i will not sit around and let you do this to me. i don’t have to anymore. i will carry on like i do. i will change things. i will not sit around until you say i can. tell me it’s impossible one more time.

i know my happiness isn’t impossible. i might die trying to accomplish it, but at least i know i will have tried.